Webster's Guide to Male and Female Language

" Wants & needs :
Female: The delicate balance of emotional, physical and psychological longing one seeks to have fulfilled in a relationship.
Male: Food, sex and beer.

Communication:
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the guys.

Butt:
Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes "look bigger."
Male: The organ of mooning (and farting)

.
Commitment :
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

Entertainment :
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything with one ball, two folds, or three stooges.

Flatulence:
Female: An embarrassing byproduct of digestion.
Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.

Glass ceiling :

Female: The invisible barrier that stops women from rising to the upper levels in business.
Male: What would really be great at work since that hot babe took over the office one flight up.

Lesbian :
Female: A woman who makes love to other women.
Male: A woman who has sex with other women so men can watch and get really turned on.

Making love :

Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male: What men have to call "boinking" to get women to boink.

Remote control :

Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2 1/2 minutes.

Taste :
Female: Something you do frequently to whatever you're cooking, to make sure it's good.
Male: Something you must do to anything you think has gone bad, prior to tossing it out.

Thingie:
Female: Any part under a car's hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

Vulnerable :
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing ball without a cup. "

Hope I made you smile

"The famous Olympic skier Picabo Street (pronounced Peek-A-Boo) is not just an athlete.... She is now a nurse currently working at the Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital. She is not permitted to answer the hospital telephones. It caused too much confusion when she would answer the phone and say, Picabo, ICU."

How To Get Over A Relationship & Move On

" It’s normal to be depressed after the end of a relationship. What’s not normal is giving up on having a social life at all, not getting out of bed in the morning, or living the life of a recluse. While it’s important to honor the grief process, it’s crucial that you keep the blues in check.

Depression is a natural part of the grief cycle that people experience as a result of the loss of an important relationship,” explains Jennifer Coleman, a life transition coach at Rosen Law Firm in Raleigh, NC. “People reflect on what they are missing, experience feelings of sadness and loneliness, perhaps even self-doubt, and question whether they were ever truly loved or whether they will be loved in the future.” For most people, the depression lifts naturally. But for others, it’s tougher to beat the blues. Coleman says it’s much harder to overcome post-Break-up depression when you:

Can’t focus on the future and instead become stuck in reliving the past and acting out a conversation with yourself about what went wrong.

Don’t define yourself in new ways and instead see yourself as only part of a person (defining yourself by the old relationship). So here’s wise advice on how to snap out of that mindset and move forward.

Make time. Allow yourself some time each day to do the work of “getting over it,” Coleman notes. “This might include private time to find expression for your worst thoughts, time to vent with friends about your sadness and frustration, time to go for a walk and notice all the little things around you that you don’t always notice or time to invest in an activity you truly enjoy.”

Don’t withdraw, engage. “The easiest way to accomplish this is by scheduling at least three pleasant or reinforcing activities each day,” counsels Andrea Macari, a New York-based Ph.D. in clinical psychology. “Examples might include engaging in a hobby, having lunch with a close friend, or even indulging in an ice cream sundae. By making a proactive attempt at increasing the enjoyment in their daily lives, they will slowly re-engage with the world and their depressive symptoms will decrease.”

Accentuate the positive. Start looking for good things that you got from your relationship with you old partner or will come from your break-up now that your single, again “I wrote down a bunch of positive results of me being single again on scraps of paper,” recalls Tom Meisner of New York. “Everything from having a second chance at love or learning how to scuba dive (something my ex loved) to funny things like not having to share that tiny bathroom again or being able to get a dog (my ex was allergic). I put the scraps in a box and whenever I felt bad, I pulled one or two out. It was simple, but it helped me put things in perspective.”

Create a nurturing environment. “My friends made sure I was taking care of myself,” says Sonja West of Sarasota, FL. “We took a healthy cooking class together, went on weekly fitness walks and even had a couple of spa getaways. We also repainted my apartment and went to yard sales for cheap new furniture. They also helped make sure I got enough sleep—but not too much.”

Consider additional support. Friends and family are crucial during this time, but you might want to get additional support to help you deal with complicated or extremely painful feelings. A mental health professional can help point out distorted or negative thoughts exacerbating your depression. “A psychologist can help guide the individual back into the world,”

Macari notes. “It’s the equivalent of having your own personal cheerleading team and coach wrapped up in one highly educated person.” Ask your doctor for a referral to a qualified professional. You might also consider seeking counsel from your religious leader.Following these tips will help you deal with the natural feelings accompanying your break-up so you can get ready for a better relationship the next time around. "

E-mailing At Work Could Get You Fired!

"Misusing e-mail or browsing the wrong sites can cost you your job. Ms. Newitt was aware her employer, the Washington State Department of Labor and Industries, had a policy restricting personal use of work computers, but she believed it focused on Web surfing, not e-mail. Nonetheless, she was careful to use her work e-mail primarily for professional matters. So she was stunned when the agency fired her after finding 418 personal e-mail messages received over a period of five months (or about 5 per workday) on her PC.

Newitt isn't alone: Increasingly, managers are cracking down on employee Internet activity by drafting strict usage policies--and enforcing them through use of software that monitors surfing, examines e-mail, and restricts the sites an employee can browse to.

Newitt, an eight-year agency veteran, says that she received great performance reviews as well as certificates for providing outstanding customer service in her position as a workers' compensation claims manager. Most of the personal e-mail messages were innocuous notes regarding birthday greetings and lunch plans with coworkers, she says. But none of this mattered when Newitt's employer examined her office's e-mail after a co-worker filed a sexual-harassment complaint against a supervisor. The department ultimately fired 8 employees (including Newitt) and disciplined 16 others for their improper use of agency equipment.

Mr.Vehrs, who works at the Virginia Department of Business Assistance, received a ten-day unpaid suspension for excessive casual use of the Internet while at work. Vehrs employer knew he blogged. In fact, Virginia's governor read and sometimes reused his posts; but he was punished.

A 2005 survey of 526 businesses and organizations by the ePolicy Institute and the American Management Association found that 76 percent of them monitor the sites that their employees visit, and 65 percent block certain sites. At least 55 percent of them review and retain employees' e-mail, and 36 percent track the content on workers PCs, their keystrokes, and the time that they spend at the keyboard. Lost productivity is a major concern.

For example, Networks Unlimited found that fewer than 100 employees at Balls Food--a supermarket and pharmacy chain based in Kansas City--had Net access at work, but that they spent a total of 686 hours in one year using Web-based e-mail such as Hotmail and Yahoo.

By contrast, 120 employees at a New York-based software company spent an estimated 7700 hours in one year accessing Web-based e-mail, 2400 hours at shopping and sports-related sites, and 250 hours visiting Adult sites.

In total, the employees spent more than 17,000 hours in one year on recreational surfing (roughly 3 hours per employee per week), which translates into an estimated loss in worker productivity of $867,000, according to Networks Unlimited."

1 Million Dollars You Could Win - Challenge

"It's pretty simple, according to people who call themselves ghost hunters: You have to believe in ghosts to see them. It depends on which side of the haunted fence you're on. If you believe in ghosts, there's nothing wrong with it. But if you're a skeptic, it's a huge problem.

If you go in to a place that's supposed to be haunted, you're tuned up [to believe] already," explains world-famous skeptic James Randi, who has promised to pay $1 million to anyone who can show evidence of a paranormal, supernatural, or occult event under controlled circumstances.

So far, no one has won the money, although Sylvia Browne, who claims she is a psychic, agreed to put her powers to the test.

You could have a chance to win that money, too--if only you could find a ghost. So how do you go about doing that?...Read On:

Ghosts 101:

If you're a hardened skeptic, bear with me here, or you'll miss all the fun. And you certainly won't win the million-dollar prize.

The first thing you need to do is know what you're looking for--and what it looks like. According to common definitions, a ghost is the spirit of a dead person. Ghosts "are not fragmented souls cursed to roam the land. They're here by choice, ghosts don't wear sheets, and only rarely do they look like see-through peoples, they usually look like strands of vapor called ectoplasm when they're in motion. When they're not moving, they resemble balls of light.

Many people even claim to have taken photographs of ghosts, although a camera strap can sometimes be mistaken for a ghost "vortex."

Now that you know what you're looking for, the next thing you need to know is where to look.

Now that you know what you're looking for, the next thing you need to know is where to look.
A cemetery is a good place to start--especially an old one, Caution ! people do need to respect the rules of the cemeteries they choose, and make sure they're not off-limits to nighttime visitors.
You'll want to bring along a camera and a tape recorder with a fresh cassette, to get evidence of your ghost hunt. Advice: For how these tools should be used. Turn the volume up high as you record cemetery noises. Along with your conversations (which should be held at normal volume). You must listen between conversations for the voice or voices of the dead, you should ask permission of the ghosts before you attempt to photograph them. And don't forget to bring an open mind. No ghost is going to show itself to someone with a closed mind, such as a skeptic. Also it's a good ideal to bringing a compass to measure abnormal magnetism, and leaving the tape recorder in one spot.
But you might not need to go as far as a cemetery.
Most homes are haunted..So all one has to do is listen for strange sounds or events that occur around the new and full moons, which represent the strongest geomagnetic fields, or during solar storms, when the earth is bombarded with charged particles from solar flares.
If all of this sounds scientific, it's meant to. Ghost hunters prefer to use tools rather than psychics to track down spirits. Psychics experience too much emotional static.
Ghosts absorb heat, so infrared thermometers and infrared night vision camcorders can be used to locate them. They also disturb electromagnetic fields, so electromagnetic meters will reflect their presence.
It sounds foolproof, doesn't it? If you record mysterious conversations, capture surprising photographs, or measure ghosts presence with thermometers or electromagnetic field devices, you've got your proof, right? Not at all, according to the skeptics.

Most people think that ghost and the darkness are synonyms. While a ghost and the darkness normally co-exist, that is not always the case. Some of the most unnerving experiences have been in the daytime. Nevertheless, most people believe the ghost and the darkness theory. So start your ghost hunt at night. These steps outline strategy for conjuring a real ghost.

1. Be where the action is. Most haunted places have reputations.
2. Go at night … sometime between 11:00 pm and 3:00 am. Remember the ghost and the darkness theory.
3. Go alone into the room that is considered the most haunted.
4. Relax. Ghosts don’t come around just because you wish they would. Read a good book while you wait.
5. Be aware of your surroundings. Experiences can be visual, audible, olfactory, or sensory.
6. Investigate any unusual sights, sound, or smells.
7. Persevere. If a ghost is in a dwelling, it will eventually show. These steps, with some modifications, will also work for a ghost located outside of a physical building. One has to be receptive to gain the ghost’s attention, however. If your goal is to see the ghost, remember that ghosts are not always visible. But if your goal is to be in the presence of a ghost … mission accomplished, now read below to find out how you could WIN!!

Also if you do try to win or do win come back and tell me how it went and what you found..Just click on the links to the web-page to get the infro you need to read more and APPLY...Good Luck!

James Randi Educational Foundation:

The Foundation is committed to providing reliable information about paranormal claims. It both supports and conducts original research into such claims.

At JREF, we offer a $$-one-million-dollar prize-$$ to anyone who can show, under proper observing conditions, evidence of any paranormal, supernatural, or occult power or event.

The JREF does not involve itself in the testing procedure, other than helping to design the protocol and approving the conditions under which a test will take place. All tests are designed with the participation and approval of the applicant. In most cases, the applicant will be asked to perform a relatively simple preliminary test of the claim, which if successful, will be followed by the formal test. Preliminary tests are usually conducted by associates of the JREF at the site where the applicant lives. Upon success in the preliminary testing process, the applicant becomes a claimant

To date, no one has ever passed the preliminary tests.

Click here to see the application.
Read the Frequently Asked Questions.
Randi's Personal FAQ.
The Log of Applicants "

4 - Reasons To Wait For The Right Partner To Marry

" Does it sometimes feel like you're the only single person left on the planet (at least within your group of friends or co-workers)? When dating disillusionment hits, it's time to pick yourself up by your bootstraps and remember some of the reasons why the right relationship is worth the wait.... Ready?

1: You know what you want.

Your experience allows you to make an informed decision when it comes to most aspects of any relationship, including planning a perfect wedding, someday. You've no doubt been to (or in) enough weddings, or knew someone who's married at this point to know the mistakes to avoid — in other words, you won't be doing an e-mail survey of your friends about china patterns, or best honeymoon package deals. You may even be confident enough to bag the wedding thing altogether and do something crazy — like elope, and save your money for something good like enjoying life.

2: You're older and wiser.

Having not found someone early in life that made you happy, now that your over 35. You run a lesser chance of you and your partner growing apart, or of being totally sick of each other by the time you're 60. Good news for your future marriage!

3: You haven't settled!

You deserve to get what you want, and if you have to hold out for it, then so be it. Settling for a relationship that's only so-so is selling yourself short, and it's a recipe for a failed marriage/life. The right person is out there — and that relationship is worth the wait.

4:You still get to look forward to that sensational moment of finding the one.

You don't know who, you don't know when, and you don't know where. Now that's pretty exciting, and worth waiting for. That first-kiss, first smile, first flirt, first hug....And last but least...When you have fireworks in bed together, and you can't keep your hands off each other. Thats when you know you have found the ONE!!

Now this is what I need and want in my life, makes me feel a bit better. I am worth having and someday I will find someone who makes me want to give them a chance to be with me, till then..Guess I will just follow these rules..."

World's Creepiest Places

" Ghosts and hauntings. Mysterious disappearances and murderous daughters. Whether it's Halloween or not, most of us enjoy a good, clean scare. What happens, though, if the hauntings are real? When the places appear to remain home to their long-departed guests? Then the fun takes on a whole new meaning; the screams and chills become more than some people can stand. For those who are not faint of heart, though, we've compiled a list--from creepy to creepiest--of some of the most frightening places in the world. Are they real? Are they a sham? You decide!

Bermuda Triangle Location: Atlantic Ocean: Area also called the Devil's Triangle, the Twilight Zone, Hoodoo Sea, and the Limbo of the Lost
The area from South Florida to Bermuda to San Juan, Puerto Rico, and back to South Florida. It was a phrase that named the place that had, for years, been a watery grave for countless travelers. Some say aliens captured the unfortunate souls; others maintain that some aberrant energy field creates a time warp that envelops anything. Scientific evaluations have concluded that the number of disappearances in the region is not abnormal and that most of the disappearances have logical explanations. Regardless, it's a place many people avoid, including some pilots and ships' captains.

Roswell Location: Roswell : An extensive lecture series and tours to crash sites in 1947, resident William "Mac" Brazel found pieces of debris from what he claimed (and others came to believe) was a crashed UFO.

Since then, Roswell, a tiny desert town guarded by the southern Rocky Mountains, has become synonymous with UFOs and mystery. To evidence that claims the town's sheriff and government concocted an elaborate scheme to cover-up the incident.

Winchester Mystery House: San Jose,: A window built into the floor and doors that open into blank walls.

When rifle heiress Sarah Winchester began construction on her Victorian-style mansion in 1884, she pledged that building would never end during her lifetime, thinking the continuous pounding of hammers would appease the ghosts that plagued her after the deaths of her husband and daughter. Only Winchester herself knows whether or not the plan worked, but the Winchester House stills stands today, now a museum to the oddities and mysteries that were part of this woman's life. Among the most strange, doors open into blank walls; one chimney rises four floors; and a set of stairs leads to the ceiling.

GettysburgLocation: Gettysburg: One of the deadliest battles of the Civil War took place in 1863 in the tiny Pennsylvania town of Gettysburg. Union soldiers, low on ammunition, were losing the fight, nearly capitulating to the advancing Confederate army. Then, as they used up the last of their gunpowder, a ghostly George Washington on a white stallion appeared before them, commanding them to continue and win a battle that ultimately turned the tide of the war.

That's the way the legend tells it, anyway, and to this day, the people who live in and around Gettysburg maintain that George Washington's ghost rides regally across that same battlefield every summer.

Salem: Salem : The annual Halloween Haunted Neighborhood
During the winter of 1691 and 1692, in the tiny New England village of Salem, two young girls (9-year-old Betty Parris and 11-year-old Abigail Williams) accused three local women of coming to them in "spectral" (ghost) form and of causing the girls to have fits, cry out in pain, and go mute, among other afflictions. The village elders who heard the girls' story came to believe that the accused women were witches. This set off a hysterical wave of accusations of witchcraft, and led to the now infamous Salem witch trials. Ultimately, 14 women and 5 men were hanged, another suspect was pressed to death under heavy stones when he refused to take part in his trial, 4 people died in jail awaiting their trials, and nearly 200 other people were arrested. Rumor has it that the ghosts of the people who lost their lives still haunt the town, and the Salem Wax Museum and Witch Museum allow visitors to experience the terror that reigned during the trials and come face-to-face with the accused (in wax or, perhaps, ghostly form).

Tower of London: London,: The sites of London

Diaphanous apparitions, rattling chains, howling winter winds... The Tower of London* has it all (or so the legends say). In the 900 years since it was first constructed, the Tower has served as, among other things, a tourist attraction, a prison, and a place of execution for some of England's most notorious characters--Henry VIII's infamous second wife, Anne Boleyn, lost her head there, and rumor has it that a chained Sir Walter Raleigh still prowls the Tower grounds. The inner fortifications include Bloody Tower, so called from the tradition that the English child-king Edward V* and his brother Richard Plantagenet, duke of York, were murdered there in 1483; and Devereux Tower, where, in 1478, George Plantagenet, duke of Clarence, supposedly was drowned in a barrel of wine. Whether haunted or not (that's for visitors to decide), the Tower displays many eerie mementos of times past.

Paris Catacombs: Paris : Sign above the underground hallways reads

"Abandon hope all ye who enter here." Hidden beneath the streets of Paris are the city's famed catacombs*, long an escape route for revolutionaries, smugglers, and the French Resistance movement battling the Nazis. In this dark, dank underground world rest the remains (primarily the bones) of long-departed Parisians who died when there was no room for them in the city's cemeteries. Many of the bones are arranged neatly, like carefully laid bricks, and visitors (on their walking tour of about 500 yards) shouldn't be alarmed if they encounter hundreds of human skulls - some with teeth missing, some bashed in, some with grinning jaw bones.

Haunted Hollywood: Hollywood : A day trip to San Diego's haunted Hotel Del Coronado
Since the first Tinsel Town star walked the first red carpet, celebrities (dead and alive) have been fascinating creatures. Today, visitors in search of a supernatural celebrity sighting can venture into Hollywood at night and discover the places where the deceased rich and famous like to spend their time. Among the most notorious--the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel's room 928 (supposedly haunted by actor Montgomery Clift*), the Laugh Factory (and its nightly visits by late comedian Groucho Marx), and the old Hollywood Reporter building (rumored to house reporter William Wilkerson, who died in 1962). If a walking tour isn't your thing, catch a ride on Tour Land's Haunted Hearse, a guided tour that takes visitors to places around town supposedly haunted by celebrities.

Lizzie Borden Bed and Breakfast: Fall River: Spend the night at the scene of the crime
In 1892, Andrew Borden and his wife, Abby, were brutally murdered by someone wielding an ax. Although ultimately acquitted of the crime, Borden's youngest daughter, Lizzie*, never regained her precrime innocence, and many folks in Fall River (and around the country) remained convinced that she got away with murder. Today, the house in which the Bordens lived and died is a city landmark, a museum, and a bed and breakfast. Anyone interested can visit the murder scene. For those who want an extra creepy experience, the B & B owners treat their overnight guests to a replica of the Bordens' last meal: a breakfast of bananas, johnnycakes, sugar cookies, and coffee."

10 Food Dieting Rules to Ignore

"1. Eating at night will pile on the pounds.
"It's the total calories you consume over a 24-hour period -- and more often, over a week -- that is what causes you to gain weight, and when you eat those calories doesn't matter," says New York University senior clinical nutritionist Samantha Heller, RD.
That said, because you may be more tired at night, your resolve may be lower, Heller says. So you may tend to eat larger portions, or more high-calorie foods, than you would during the day. But as long as you keep an eye on calories and portion size, feel free to set your hunger alarm to the time that suits your lifestyle.

2. It's best to eat at the same times every day.
"Eat when you're hungry, not when the clock says it's time to eat," says Somer. While it can help to keep some consistency to mealtimes, Somers says that forcing yourself to eat when you're not hungry -- or forcing yourself to wait when you are -- only makes it harder to stick to your diet. If you must eat at a certain time - say, during a designated lunch hour at your workplace -- cut yourself some slack the rest of the day and eat only when your stomach says it's time.

3. Dieting with a buddy always makes weight loss easier.
No one doubts that companionship and common goals can pay off for dieters. But Aronowitz notes that there are some instances in which the buddy system may work against you and your buddy.
"If one buddy fails and the other doesn't, it clearly upsets the balance, and could cause tension and embarrassment," she says. Ultimately, Aronowitz says, weight loss is a personal journey. If you find it's easier with a friend, remember to compete only against yourself -- not each other.

4. Dietary fat keeps you feeling full longer, so you'll eat less.
This was a well-accepted food rule for many years. But Somers says new research has challenged this logic. It has shown that while fat does take longer to digest, "it's actually the least satiating of any food group -- so no, it will not help you control you appetite," Somers says. The foods likely to stave off hunger the longest are protein foods, followed by carbohydrates, then fats, she says.

5. When you blow your diet, you might as well wait until the next day to get back on track.
Nothing could be farther from the truth, Heller tells WebMD.
"Every meal matters, so if you ate that big old piece of birthday cake at lunch, get right back on track with your next meal," she says. "You don't have to have a full day of healthy eating in order for it to count."

6. Refusing food at a party or when visiting is rude.
"If you had diabetes, or a severe food allergy to something, you wouldn't think twice about turning down a food you weren't sure of -- and you should feel that same sense of priority in turning down a food that you know will blow your diet," says Heller.

7. Skipping a meal every now and then will help you lose.
"Skipping a meal means you will be so hungry at the next meal that you are likely to overeat," says Somer. Not only that, skipping meals can actually help lead to a slowdown of your metabolism, meaning you'll burn fewer calories, says Aronowitz.

8. Bread is fattening, nuts are fattening, pasta is fattening.
"It's not what you eat that contributes to weight gain," says Heller. "It's how much you eat that matters most."
Whole-wheat bread, for example, is a great source of nutrients, and it won't make you gain weight more than any other food with the same number of calories.

9. All calories are equal.
While it's true that 1,400 calories is 1,400 calories no matter how you slice the cheesecake, experts say certain foods have a greater ability to fill you up before they fill you out. These tend to be fiber-rich, water-rich foods, like fruits, vegetables, and whole grains.
Further, Heller says, you'll get more nutrients from, say, a 100-calorie apple than from a 100-calorie portion of white bread.
"All calories are equal if all you're doing is counting calories to lose weight," Heller says. "But if you care about how you are losing weight, or controlling your hunger, or the health of your body, then no, all calories are not of equal value."

10. If you don't clean your plate, you're wasting food (don't forget those starving children Mom told you about).
Tying emotions to eating (like when you feel guilty about leaving food on your plate) sets the stage for emotional overeating, Aronowitz says. If you've been taught that cleaning your plate is the best way to show appreciation for a meal, she says, instead show your gratitude with verbal praise, by asking for the recipe, or by sending a thank-you gift or note the next day.
"Food is simply a source of fuel for the body -- not an emotional payoff or payment," says Aronowitz. If you just don't feel right leaving the table until you've cleaned your plate, she says, underestimate your hunger and put less food on your plate to begin with....found on WebMD.com"

ABC's Before You Start Dating Again

"I found this on the Web while surfing and thought I would share it, hope it helps you, as I hope it helps me too...

If I’d only known ...No shocker that we all learn from our mistakes (especially when those mistakes involve, say, dating our ex's... best friend or someone they knew only six- months or so after your break-up from them, or the worse thing you should never do with a past love, is bait your x-lover with your feelings and needs for them, or bragging how you are dating again, this just hurts them more, and do you really want to hurt them?

Or...Are you really telling them you want to try and work it out with them again as you miss them, so this is why you've contacting them again and you just want to see if they still have feelings for you too!! Becareful.......They could misunderstand you're feelings of friendship for something else, then people get hurt and bitter if one of you still cares for the other, and has hopes that when things calm down you two would get back together, and work things out someday.

If you are really over them and don't want to re-kindle the fire you two once had, no matter how bad you want to see or talk to them...DON'T !! ....For at least eight -months to a year or longer if you had a bad break-up, (till you are very sure they also have moved on or married.) This is about how long, it takes to get the heart to move on, to someone else. This is why people are told to not get in to a one one relationship with just one person, or you just end up hurt yourself or others during your healing time, and you never change your bad habits of dating, you just keep repeating the same mistakes. And Never, I repeat... Never start dating someone just because you are lonely and don't want to be alone, it never works out in the long haul....

My Two Cents Added To This Post writer of Coffee Talk:

But there’s a less painful way to learn...from yours and other people’s mistakes. This is why I sought the advice of some folks who have all navigated the choppy waters of dating after a big breakup. Here are their best suggestions to help me and also others smoothly re-enter the dating scene after 6-12 months, which is a good time they said to start dating again. Which I am now trying to do, after my break-up 5-months ago...Still not sure if I am ready to date another man, but I am going to at least put my best foot out there and try to move on with my life because my x-love did, and it only took him a few months or so to get over me and moved on so I need to learn to do the same for myself and find me a new love.....

The first year can be the worst

“Be really careful about those first twelve months or so post-break-up with your past lover. When you start dating, you’re ecstatic that someone is interested in you; plus, the sex is usually incredible because it’s new. It’s all very intoxicating, because you have been alone and want to feel again but the real test is will it last?

Next thing you know, you'll be saying ‘l love you, because they told you they love you’ But soon, you realize there are others...maybe better....opportunities out there and you’re locked into a situation that’s going to be very difficult to get out of.....Take it slow...Or in your heart and mind you may still miss your x-love that you broke up with and you're are not ready to move on or...You finally figure out what you had before was not as bad as you thought it was in fact it had alot of good in it and you want it back, and wondering it you can?

But you can't now, because you've commited to this new person to soon, and you are not sure if this is what you want? You need to date many people don't limit yourself to the first few you go out with have some fun, date several different types of people. Till you are sure that they are the one that makes you feel good. But be very sure... You and your x-love are really over for good and you don't still feel a need to be with them before you commit to a new partner.

That is why they say break-ups should have a one year time span so everyone is sure it is really over. But keep it in the back of your mind that you have a lot of learning and re-learning to do, and one more thing never tell someone you love them during the first year, its not possible to love another adult in less then 12 months of dating, (lust..maybe or even a close-friendship...it may even be a certain amount of trust you feel that this person cares about your feelings, but don't mistake this for LOVE).

Love is something that grows and happens over time, while the two of you are learning to deal with life and what problems get thrown at the both of you together as a couple along the way to make your bond stronger with each other, then over time...

Then hopefully after one-year of dating just one person only during this time, your bond with that one special person will become stronger. This is what finally grows into what people call real Love!!...Just remember, this if you don't take nothing else away from reading this.

Dating styles have changed for people over thirty, they don’t all grab dinner and movie with a group of friends, and call that a date anymore thats a get together with friends now.”

Ex doesn’t always mark the spot

“When dating a divorced person, it is OK to talk about your ex—you both have common ground on that one. You can sort of bond on the subject, and there’s usually some pretty funny material there. If your date has never been married, however, DO NOT bring up your ex—with a ‘never been married’ it is taboo unless they ask. Hearing about your failed marriage is no way to sell yourself, and you will totally spook the person with tales of nasty divorce.”

Prepare yourself before heading out

“Before embarking on the dating scene, I took a ‘dating recovery’ class at my church. They’re offered at a number of places of worship and it was really helpful—in fact, I imagine it would be even if you’re not religious. We covered topics like recovering from sadness, feeling guilty, good ways to get back out there and meet people—all the things you’d expect, really. I felt like it helped me put a lot of things in perspective before I began dating again. It was like group therapy, but free."

May/December romance new trend in dating

“I thought that most men & women would want to date younger trophy partners, anyone but me. However, I found out that the genuinely mature men & women want someone that they can relate to even if they are older then them or the same age, age didn't matter as long as they enjoyed each other company. They also don’t really care if you have a few extra pounds on you; what they really want to know it’s what’s inside your head and heart that is important. Not your age or size, or looks, they are looking for someone that makes them feel good about waking up in the morning.

In fact, alot more younger men are hooking-up with women older at least 10-15 years older then them and liking it alot !! This is news good for you older ladies, these younger men claim they like older women because she cares more about her mate, where as women there own age or younger are more self-centered.

They also said they like older women, more because more then likely are done wanting more babies, don't sleep with your buddies, or hanging with her friends and partying or worried that her bio-clock is ticking because shes getting old and she wants to have tons of babies.

I interviewed 100 men for this part of the article, between the ages of: (23-40 years) They also said that older women know how to make her man feel good about being with them, in fact some of the younger men even marry these older women because they didn't want to lose what they found.

So who says May/December romance don't work.”

Forget the singles scene

“I wish I had known that the best places to meet people are the simplest places. I consistently went out with friends to bars, concerts, festivals — you name it — but I always struck out. It was just so hard to have an actual conversation in a loud, crowded venue like that. I have the best luck meeting cool people at the grocery store after work, right before dinnertime. That’s when single people grab something for dinner. Or even maybe try dining alone in a sit-down place, alot of single people eat-out because its easier then cooking for one. It might sound silly, but trust me, it’s a great way to meet a normal person!”

Lay it on the line

"When you leave a long term relationship with the person who you thought was the love of your life, you will feel like you have less interest in playing the dating-games, probably because that whole past life you thought you had before with who is now your x-love gives you the feeling: (‘I only wanted to be with that one person who use to make me feel life was so good and the world was perfect!’) plan is out the window. And it hurts bad, but you can't change what has happen you need to move on and hope that you will find someone better then what you lost.

Always be up front in the very beginning of your dating with anyone you date, in fact some things I will cover need to be said before you even agree to go out on a date with them, or you will have problems if you don't tell them. Even if they don't want to date you, isn't better you know well in advance before, you invest your time and feelings with them.

You may as well weed out the bad apples in the beginning, because if they don't want to date you because of these things you tell them then don't worry, someone will. You just have to learn to be a bit more picky about who you go out with now days, to many freaks. But if they don't have a problem with the rules you set-up for dating you then, you both can focas on enjoying each other and and building a relationship-bond. I'm sure they have some demands of there own too!

Now to tell you six- things you must cover, before you go on a first date with someone, yes you have to tell each person you go on a date with each time before hand so they can't say, you never told me this, even if you have to say it to hundred possible dates and only went on five, better to have had five good open dates then ninty-five more that left you feeling like a loser, because you were to honest to soon they felt.

(1)

If you have children (grown or at home- small or teenagers-live with you or don't live with you, or split living with you and some place else part-time). Tell them but also once you have dropped the bomb that you have children during the talk some where make sure you also let them know this: They (your children) come first always no matter how old or what they do, they will always be your children and they need to know this before dating you.

That includes even if you someday(someday means someday not as soon as they agrees to go out with you) married your children will always come first, and you don't want to have to choose, them or... your children if he is a good guy he will understand, and be happy that you were open about them.. Sides when they grow-up and someday they will...They won't want to hang around with you two old farts, and if for some reason they do come home for some reason or are still at home, don't mean that everyone can't learn to respect each other it don't matter if they lover each other just as long as they don't put you in the middle or ask you to choose. (Unless they harmed your child, then that is different), you should always be very clear about this one thing if you don't agree on much of anything else.

(2)

That you are committed to staying in the town you live in, unless you don't care or if your not sure you could always say I may someday want to move but not sure at this time.

(3)

If you really want to be married, then you need to let your dating partners know you are looking for a long term-partner who is wanting the same as you wanting to get married, if you don't care if you re-marry or don't want to re-marry then you also need to be up-front about that, just in case you dating-partner is looking for that.

(4)

If you have problem with someone that drinks, or uses drugs, smokes then you need to clear this up in the beginning no matter how much you like them.

(5)

If you are not okay with open dating other, while you date each other. Or if you want to have open dating while you are dating each , till you both decide you should only date each other. Because if you want to have a closed dating and they don't this would be a problem from the start, for both of you.

(6)

And last but least one that is a must on everyones dating-dance-card or it should be I feel, NO!! Sexual-pleasure (Kissing & make-out fun is okay) only ( unless you can't control your body then not even that). Till you have dated each other for a time to get to know each other better, and if your both dating other people during this time hold off having any sex-fun-time till you are dating only each other for a few weeks. (In todays world you have to be careful, you never know what someone might have contacted from dating other people)

Sides if you are willing to just jump into bed to get close to someone, then you shouldn't even be dating yet just means you are trying to fill the void of your lost love you had before dating again....Slow-down, if this person likes you they will wait till your ready.... Anyone who has a problem with these new rules you are enforcing for yourself wouldn’t be a good match for me anyway, so why waste time?”

Dinner: not always a winner

“When you became single again, everyone you knew, including family members wanted to set you up on blind dates with someone they knew, maybe because they felt sorry for you! Only to end disastrously painful Saturday night dinner dates, I think this isn’t the best plan with someone you’ve never met. If you hit it off, great, but if it’s not ‘there,’ you’re stuck for a long time. A better way to go: Meet for drinks.... If you are both into each other, you’ve got the option of continuing the date further, but if you’re not, you can end it pretty quickly.”

Get on the ’net“

When you think about it, we use the Internet to facilitate nearly everything in our lives, so why not dating? and . What’s surprised is the huge number of who date online; most of them are working professionals who are online because it’s the most efficient way to meet someone who has the potential to be a match.”

Looks can be deceiving

“My number one piece of advice is to re-evaluate your standards and focus on what is really important in a mate. We all but alot of the time refused to go out with someone who were not extremely good-looking.Why ? women say that alot of men that are good-looking, were either cocky players who were only interested in sex, or dull duds with pretty faces. And men say that most good-looking skinny women are so stuck on them selfs that they think you should kiss the ground they walk on, and give them all your money to boot..Right!

Then alot of people won't date some one or even they break-up with them, because friends or family don't like them or don't think they are good enough for you to date. Becaue they think they are to fat, or ugly, or not well-dressed enough, poor, has children, disablities, or even to old or to young, or the wrong color of skin or they just pain go to the wrong church. Who knows why some people don't like others, but that shouldn't be the reason you don't date, or even marry them. It should be what you want , but alot of people are afraid of being rejected by these people(they call friends and family) so they for-go what feelings they may have to save face.

Which is so wrong of this, my best friend begged me to go out with her co-worker who she said was ‘average-looking, but off-the-charts nice.’ I finally did, and he was such an incredible person after only a few dates, I knew he was The One, who should have been The One the first time around! Thank goodness I finally broadened my extremely narrow (and, admittedly, shallow) standards. Had I not, who knows if I would have met my current husband?” "

Secret of Letting Go

" There is nothing wrong with being a successful human being. In fact, the purpose of your life is to win. But what if, in your quest for this victory, you were accidentally drawn into a compelling game in which, unknown to you, it was impossible to win, no matter how well you performed or how religiously you followed the rules?

Where, instead of finding the freedom to run as you wish, you found yourself moving more and more mechanically through your days -- and each of these days left you feeling more frustrated than fulfilled, because you were playing under an ever-increasing pressure to succeed!

As if this sorry state weren't bad enough, whenever you looked around to see how the other players were doing, it was obvious they were just as disappointed with the game as you. No one was really winning anything!Then one day, to your great shock and amazement, you discover that along with everyone else out there on the playing field, you had been tricked into taking part in a crazy game in which the rules you were taught to play by allowed you to score but never to stop running!

You could compete but never achieve any meaningful or lasting victory.This metaphor provides us with an uncompromising glimpse into our own present life-position. And precisely because it is an uncompromising view, it not only tells us why our days can feel so futile, but it also hints at a previously unthinkable solution to our sad situation. Maybe there is a way to win after all!

For the first time we begin to understand why, in spite of our best efforts to come out on top, we are so often thrown for a loss in our relationships and everyday affairs. When these defeats pile up, life seems more of a punishment than a pleasure. We want to give up and walk away. But we can't. The rules we've been taught and play by don't cover or even acknowledge the possibility of life off of the field. We feel stuck.

And so, little by little, just like the slow but steady drop in temperature that chills you without your knowing it, giving up just happens. We stop caring about the lasting things that make life good and noble, and start hoping for those little moments that make life on the field seem tolerable.Listen. Don't give up. You don't have to. You can win in a brand new way. How? Just let go!Let go of all the familiar but useless rules of rigor that tell you life would be meaningless without running around in some kind of conflict.

Stop referring to your own well-worn but useless wish that your life will get better the longer you play. It won't -- unless we believe that feeling exhausted is the same as being exalted.

This is why we must start seeing the facts.Yes, let go. Walk away. Nothing can stop you.

Believe me, this is your first in a long series of real winning actions. Never mind what direction to take. It doesn't matter, not in the slightest. Why? Because walking away from what is false is the same as heading towards what is true. It may not seem so at the outset, but for the first time in your life the Rules of Life will be working for you.

Here is how it works: Letting go of what holds you down is how you cooperate with going up. You see, your True Nature is high. And this is your new destination. But you don't choose it.

No....You allow yourself to rise. This may feel awkward, even frightening at first, but in time you will recognize it as your natural need.Learn to cooperate with the real Rules of Life, with Truthful Principles, and let them lift you. That is their job. Once we stop choosing to lose, winning in life takes place effortlessly. It is that simple....http://www.guyfinley.com"

Working ON Losing Weight

" Well I have finally lost 17 1/2 pounds this last month which feels really good!! I have been really un-happy these last 6-months as I had gained more then 40-pounds and didn't understand how or why I did, but just gave up finally and focused in on just eating better and has seemed to work as far as I can tell...

Oh don't get me wrong I still cheat and have a NO-NO!! Goodie's from time to time but have tried to stay true to changing my eating habits as to not so much losing the weight.

What I have done is, I only have a (Soda pop) once in awhile now, and I try to stay away from (fried food and junk food) as much as possible.

And it seems to be working for now, I may have to give up a few more things as time goes on but for now at least something good is happening with the fat coming off my body...Wish me luck, till next month!"

ABC's On Flu & Colds- How To Keep From Getting Them

" Nearly every adult in America has had a bout with the flu. And once you get knocked down by influenza, you're flat on your back.
No single malady keeps more people out of work, and even the combined muscle of big business, science and government hasn't been enough to crush this microscopic troublemaker. Vaccines have progressed in flu prevention, but the closest we've seen to a cure is chicken soup and a hug.

How the flu spreads

Like all viruses, influenza needs a host in order to survive and multiply. The flu spreads from one person to another when tiny droplets of contaminated saliva are airborne by a cough or a sneeze. Hanging in the air, they find a new home when inhaled into an unsuspecting host.
Flu virus can also survive for several hours on a surface—telephone handset, a copying machine, a doorknob, a screwdriver—before a host comes along, gets the virus on his or her hands and then internalizes the virus by touching the eyes, nose or mouth.
Its possible to pass the flu along 24 hours before you even exhibit symptoms. The virus has a quick incubation period, and most people will fall ill within one to three days of becoming infected. You may still be contagious up to a week after symptoms first set in (a few days longer for children). In otherwise healthy adults, influenza lasts between seven and 14 days, with at least three days of severe symptoms.

A few ideas you can use and share in the workplace to help stop the spread of flu germs:

*- If you know you're sick with the flu, stay home.
*- Get a flu shot, which not only protects you but helps prevent contagion.
*- Within a day of becoming ill, ask your doctor about antiviral medications, which can shorten the episode and contain the virus.
*- Be especially cautious between late December and early March, the peak of flu season.
*- Sneeze or cough into your elbow, not into your hands.
*- Clean phones, doorknobs and desktops with alcohol swabs.
*- Throw used tissues away!
*- Wash your hands and face often with hot, soapy water.

*- Avoid close contact with people who are infected.
*- Wash your hands often to help protect you from germs. Studies suggest that flu viruses can live on surfaces for two to eight hours.
*- Avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth. Germs are often spread when a person touches something that is contaminated with germs and then touches his or her eyes, nose, or mouth.
*- Ask your doctor about antiviral drugs, which are not a substitute for the flu shot, but they do add another level of protection.
*- If possible, stay home from work, school, and errands when you are sick, so you'll be less likely to pass on the virus. "

What's Your Sign?

" Myth:

It's nice to think that we have control over our own destinies -- that we can be in command of our long-term life choices as well as our day-to-day decisions about what we do, where we do it and how we get it all done.

Reality:

We're lucky if we can plan the next five minutes.
The truth is, we can't control whether we get sick, how we'll do from the moment we wake-up, how much sleep we'll get tonight -- never mind how much happiness you want in, a lifetime -- it wouldn't hurt to have a cheat sheet handy.

Your Horoscope:

Whether you're an Scorpion (me), Leo, Gemini or Libra (the sun's in your house as we speak!), you might not have checked your sign's forecast ever since that less-than-fateful day in fourth grade when it promised that "you will soon meet the man of your dreams," and you're still looking for Mr. Right. Or maybe it said to "prepare for an interesting and invigorating life change in the near future" just days before your company decided to downsize.

Sure, it's not foolproof, but every once in a while, it's nice to put your future on autopilot.

Anyway, now-days horoscopes do less predicting of the future and more making of recommendations.
For instance, your horoscope today might be something like: "Combine your two favorite things: friends and art. Make some impromptu plans with friends you haven't seen in a while -- hit a museum, sculpture garden or gallery crawl. It'll refresh you in all the ways you require, or maybe mke life worth waking up that day."

Or:

Someone's standing on a soapbox, but you don't have to be an audience of one. Politely excuse yourself, or you could get stuck listening to their complaints and ramblings all day. You have your own life to lead.

Know someone who could use some zodiac sign salvation? Forward this if you want, me I like to read my daily if I can. Then check back and see if any of it was true on how my day went, also if it tells me to be carefull that day or watch my temper I do ...JUST..in case...lol"

Careful What You Eat At Our Friendly Fastfood Chains.

If We Don't Like You

New York - Daniel Musson and Scott Savino, employees at a Burger King, were arrested after a sheriff's deputy became ill after eating a burger at the restaurant.

During Savino's trial, Musson admitted that they "skated" on frozen meat patties before cooking them, and often laced products with cleaning products or spit if a customer made a special order, or were rude to them they felt.

Musson testified that the duo thought the prank was funny and "a cool thing to do at the time." He pleaded guilty to a felony charge of first-degree tampering with a consumer product.

Bad Burrito

Santa Maria Calf. - Pedro Sanchez, 17, a worker at a Taco Bell, pleaded guilty to felony assault on a peace officer for putting industrial graffiti remover into a burrito he served to Officer Martin Ledesma, who was ill for several days afterward.

Sanchez allegedly told investigators that he'd poisoned the officer's burrito after witnessing an altercation between police officers and Santa Maria High school students earlier that day. He was sentenced to nine months in jail — which he'll serve after he graduates high school — and probation, and ordered to pay the officer's medical costs and lost wages.

Love in a Burger

Madison Ohio- Penny Needham, claimed her McDonald's meal was anything but happy when she bit into a double cheeseburger in June 2005 and discovered a metal keychain with a pornographic scene depicted on it.

"It about killed my teeth," she told the Dayton Daily News. Police are still investigating the incident.

Mixed Greens

Jefferson La.-May Deal Chambers Johnson sued, Applebee's restaurant in June 2005, claiming she found a human fingertip in her salad.

Johnson said she found the fingertip in her take-out salad and then became violently ill; her attorney, Michael Darnell, says she has not been able to eat in restaurants since the incident. Darnell says he's currently keeping the finger in his office freezer. The case is still pending.

Extra Meat Free

David Scheiding knew something wasn't right with his Arby's chicken sandwich when he discovered what appeared to be a piece of human flesh.

"It looked like I was seeing fingerprints on it," he said. "I got sick and went to the bathroom." Health investigators spoke to the restaurant manager, who said he'd sliced skin from his thumb while shredding lettuce.

Scheiding filed a $50,000 lawsuit against GZK Inc., which owns the Arby's where the sandwich was purchased.

Spit Spot

Fort Miller S.C.-Dunkin' Donuts employee Chad Patrick Stalnaker, 19, was arrested after he allegedly spit into a cup of coffee that was served to police Sgt. Keith Dugan.

Dugan, who picked up the coffee on his way to a doctor's appointment, noticed the extra ingredient in the coffee when he took the cap off. Police later said the substance was a mixture of saliva and mucus and sent the cup for further testing.

Stalnaker has been charged with misdemeanor assault and battery, and a Dunkin Donuts manager said Stalnaker is no longer employed at the store.

Special Value Meal

Oxford Township Mich.-Jacqueline Rowland and Jon McQuater, employees at a Burger King in Oxford Township, Mich., were charged with food tampering after McQuater allegedly spit into a police officer's chicken sandwich.

Deputy Steve Clark pulled into the Burger King drive-thru and ordered a "special value meal consisting of a chicken sandwich, no lettuce."

When the sandwich was served, he realized it had been repackaged and quickly discovered the tampering. Clark later determined that McQuater had spit inside the sandwich as "a joke," and Rowland then served it. If convicted, they face four years in prison and a $10,000 fine.

Big Mac Attack

NYPD cop John Florio sued McDonald's for $6 million after he swallowed at least five shards of glass in a Big Mac. Albert Garcia Jr., a McDonald's employee, later admitted that he'd brought a broken picture frame from home, ground up the glass and placed it in the burger.

Prosecutors said Garcia also placed the shards into the Big Mac's special sauce. Garcia was also charged with felony assault against a police officer.

No Charge For Extra Toppings

CNNnews.com breaking news-New Mexico- Three workers at a Burger King restaurant were arrested after two police officers discovered that the hamburgers they ordered were sprinkled with marijuana.

The Police officers ate about half of their burgers Sunday before discovering marijuana on the meat. The officers used a field test kit to confirm the substance was pot, then went to a hospital for a medical evaluation.

The three Burger King employees: Justin Armijo, 19; Robert Nuckols, 21; and manager Joseph Ledesma, 33
Were arrested and charged with possession of marijuana and aggravated battery on an officer, which is a felony.

Well thats the funny-news for Sunday, how's your day.. "

Soul Mate Myth

" Right up there with "When will I find love," a question that people frequently asked themselfs or others. "When will I meet my soul mate?" Be careful what you wish for - you might get it!

Having a soul mate is not always the bed of roses that many people believe. Soul mates usually are drawn together to help each other learn one or more difficult lessons. Rest assured that you and your soul mate will meet. It's only a matter of time."

Thought For Me Today

" My power today lies in practice. I play fair and can hold my own in against my peers in my chosen arena. I develop confidence, refine my intentions, and make progress by being prepared to put my desires, beliefs, ideas, or skills to the test or put my "money where my mouth is." I am empowered by healthy competition and I transform through preparedness."

Do You Have One Of These - 33 - Differant types of Phobia's

"You’ve probably heard of arachnophobia, thanks in part to the movie with the same name, and claustrophobia, but what about gamophobia or phobophobia? Here’s a brief introduction to phobias, from the familiar to the more obscure:

Acrophobia: Fear of heights .....(I have this one bad!!)

Agoraphobia: Fear of being in a public place...( I dated a guy that got crappy when we were in a store that was crowded, and had to get out in open space.)

Ailurophobia: Fear of cats

Androphobia: Fear of men

Anthropophobia: Fear of human companionship

Arachnophobia: Fear of spiders ...(Okay I have this one too! I hate Hobo's as we have them where I live bad every year.)

Bathophobia: Fear of deep places ....(this one is as bad as high places to me cause I could still fall.)

Claustrophobia: Fear of enclosed spaces....(Okay I have a bit of a problem with this one too, boy maybe I am a sickoo..lol)

Cynophobia: Fear of dogs

Entomophobia: Fear of insects

Ereuthophobia: Fear of blushing

Gamophobia: Fear of marriage...(okay the last guy I dated I think had this problem, always ran away when women got this close, I got him to at least 2-months from saying I DO..lol)

Gephyrophobia: Fear of crossing a bridge...(this one bothers me if its a high bridge)

Gymnophobia: Fear of seeing a naked person

Gynephobia: Fear of women

Hedonophobia: Fear of pleasure

Hypengyophobia: Fear of responsibility....(I know my kids have this one..lol)

Hypnophobia: Fear of sleep

Ichthyophobia: Fear of fish

Mysophobia: Fear of dirt

Nostophobia: Fear of going home...(wished my kids had this one now, moved them out they came back.)

Nyctophobia: Fear of night or darkness

Ophidiophobia: Fear of snakes...(okay I hate snakes too)

Pathophobia: Fear of disease

Pediophobia: Fear of children or dolls

Phobophobia: Fear of phobias

Psychrophobia: Fear of the cold

Scopophobia: Fear of being stared at

Spectrophobia: Fear of mirrors

Tocophobia: Fear of childbirth

Theophobia: Fear of God...(okay I confess I did this one to my kids when I use to tell them I was going to put the fear of GOD in them if they didn't knock off what they were doing)

Triskaidekaphobia: Fear of the number thirteen

Zoophobia: Fear of animals

(Okay now that I know I'm truely messed up in the head, guess I better head to a shrink appt. FAST!!)

Do You Have Social Phobia?

1. Are you afraid you'll embarrass yourself if you have to give a talk or attend a social gathering with people you don't know well?
2. Do you sometimes panic in unfamiliar social situations?
3. Do you know that your fear of social situations is unreasonable or excessive?
4. Do you avoid social situations whenever possible?
5. When you can't avoid social situations, do they cause significant distress or anxiety?
6. Does your distress or fear of social gatherings interfere significantly with your work, relationships with friends and family, or normal routines?

If you answer yes to three or more of these questions, you may have social phobia. If so, talk with your doctor or a therapist about your concerns. Social phobia can be mild, moderate, or severe. ends and family, or normal routines?

Symptoms: Extreme fear of situations that pose little or no danger or that are no more dangerous than other situations that don’t induce fear.

Common phobias: Include fear of flying, heights, animals, insects, injections, and the sight of blood. Facing the situation or object that induces the phobia produces anxiety immediately, sometimes in the form of a panic attack. Children may cry, have tantrums, freeze, or cling to an adult. Although adults with phobias realize that their fears are excessive or unreasonable, they try to avoid the situations that provoke them. They may refuse to fly in an airplane or visit the home of a friend who has a dog. But this avoidance may interfere with their ability to function normally at work, at school, or in social situations. Many people with this condition also have social phobia, a fear of social situations.

Cause: Traumatic events often lead to specific phobias. Genes are also believed to play a role because the tendency to develop specific phobias runs in families.

Prevalence: More than 10% of people have specific phobias.

Who’s at risk: Women face a slightly higher risk than men. Individuals who have a close relative with a specific phobia are at higher risk. A terrifying or deeply troubling experience, as well as a genetic predisposition, increases the likelihood of developing specific phobia.

Effective treatments: The main treatment is a form of behavioral therapy called desensitization, also known as exposure therapy, in which people are gradually exposed to the source of their phobia until it no longer scares them. Relaxation and breathing exercises can also reduce symptoms. No medication has proved effective in controlling specific phobias, but antianxiety drugs may help. For example, if you’re afraid of flying, an antianxiety medication can control your fear enough that you can get on the plane.

Social Phobia (Social Anxiety Disorder)

Symptoms: A persistent and powerful uneasiness, self-consciousness, and fear of humiliation in ordinary social situations with unfamiliar people or where scrutiny by others is possible. These situations usually cause anxiety and sometimes a panic attack. This phobia often leads people to avoid parties and other gatherings. Adults with social phobia realize that their fear is excessive or unreasonable, but most children do not. The symptoms and diagnostic criteria differ somewhat for children and adults. In children, common symptoms are crying, throwing tantrums, and withdrawing when in the company of unfamiliar peers or adults. But children with social phobia are capable of appropriate social relationships with familiar people. Their symptoms must last at least 6 months, whereas in adults the symptoms can come and go with the waxing and waning of stress. For example, a person who has social phobia when single may find that it nearly disappears after marriage, but it flares up again after divorce or the spouse’s death. In both children and adults, the symptoms tend to be ongoing and severe. More than half of those with a social phobia also have a specific phobia. Because social phobia shares some of its symptoms with panic disorder and generalized anxiety disorder, it can be difficult to distinguish them. But there are important differences. Though social avoidance is sometimes a symptom of panic disorder, it’s not the main symptom. People with panic disorder may withdraw from social situations, but they also avoid other situations, such as driving through tunnels. And though fear of embarrassment or humiliation can be a symptom of generalized anxiety disorder, it’s not the main source of anxiety.

Cause: Preliminary animal research suggests that reduced brain levels of serotonin and dopamine, two neurotransmitters that affect mood and anxiety, may be a cause. Researchers are also studying the amygdala.

Prevalence: About 4% of Americans have social phobia.

Who’s at risk: Social phobia is twice as common among women as it is among men. It rarely starts after age 25, and children, adolescents, and young adults are at the highest risk. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is usually combined with medication in treating social phobia. Two forms of cognitive-behavioral therapy are especially

beneficial: anxiety management training and cognitive restructuring. Anxiety management focuses on teaching relaxation techniques such as deep breathing to help control anxiety. Cognitive restructuring teaches people how to recognize the thought processes that lead to the phobia and replace them with new assessments and expectations. Group cognitive-behavioral therapy and advice on improving social skills can also help build confidence in social situations."

Dating Problems Read This

" Borderline Personality Disorder :
Is characterized by poor self-image, great difficulty coping with loneliness and feeling empty. People with this disorder have unstable relationships most of the time, highly reactive and intense moods, and impulsive behavior. They are more likely to attempt or commit suicide.
Sometimes they harm themselves (for example, cutting or burning, take pills or drugs or take bad risks) as a form of self-punishment or to combat a numb feeling. At those times, suicide is not the goal, they are crying for help to those around them.
When stressed, people with borderline personality disorder may develop psychoticlike symptoms. They experience a distortion of perception or belief rather than a distinct break with reality. Especially in close relationships, they tend to misinterpret or amplify what other people feel about them.

For example: They may assume persecutory or hateful feelings when a friend or family member may be only mildly annoyed or angry.

Personality disorders are caused by both environmental and biological factors. Some researchers have suggested that borderline personality disorder springs from an abusive or neglectful childhood. A significant number of people with this disorder report a history of abuse in childhood.
Experts also have suggested that people with this disorder may have inherited difficulties regulating their anxiety or moods. They may be more vulnerable to loss or more sensitive to stress.
Scientists have begun to see how people with borderline personality disorder are biologically different from people without this disorder. In some of these people, specific brain regions show alterations in size and function. Researchers have also discovered change in hormone levels and the immune system.

People with borderline personality disorder have a deep fear of abandonment. They compete for social acceptance, are terrified of rejection and often feel lonely even in the context of an intimate relationship. Therefore, it is more difficult for them to manage the normal ups and downs of a romantic partnership. Impulsive, self-destructive behavior may be an attempt to ward off rising anxiety related to the fear of being left alone.

The flip side of the fear is the hope that a relationship will be completely soothing. These people may idealize a family member, romantic partner or friend, then become enraged when an inevitable disappointment occurs. They might hold that person responsible for the pain they feel and devalue the relationship.

It is quite common for people with borderline personality disorder to also have a mood disorder, eating disorder or substance abuse problem. The person may turn to alcohol or drugs to escape from painful, uncontrollable emotions.

There is no clear line between a personality style and a disorder. Personality patterns are considered to be a disorder when they impair a person's functioning and cause stress.

Three times as many women as men are diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. It occurs in about 2% of the population in the United States.

Symptoms :


It is normal to feel vulnerable, so most people have experienced some of the symptoms on this list. The diagnosis of borderline personality disorder is made only when someone has had many of these symptoms to a severe degree, over a long period.:

* Unstable, intense and difficult relationships

* Poor self-image

* Self-destructive, impulsive behavior

* Suicidal threats or attempts

* Self-mutilation

* Extreme mood reactions, including intense, inappropriate anger

* Feeling empty or alone

* Fear of abandonment

* Short-lived psychoticlike distortions of perception or belief, especially under stress

The diagnosis is normally made on the basis of a person's history, usually by a mental health professional. There are no laboratory tests to determine whether someone has a personality disorder.

Since there is often an overlap with mood disorder or substance abuse, these possibilities should be considered in anyone who has the symptoms of borderline personality disorder.

All personality disorders are lifelong patterns, There is no way to prevent borderline personality disorder.


Psychotherapy is a key part of the treatment of borderline personality disorder. The problems in this disorder are related to the person's habitual ways of relating to others and coping with obstacles. People with this disorder tend either to idealize the therapist or to become frustrated easily.

They have exaggerated reactions to disappointment. Therefore, it may be difficult for them to sustain a relationship with a mental health professional. This disorder tests the skill of therapists, who have to use a combination of techniques to be effective.

It's not enough for a person with this disorder to learn coping strategies on an intellectual level. The person has to learn how to tolerate the emotional discomfort that is common in relationships and to manage their intense emotions more successfully.

A form of treatment called dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) tries to take the special problems of borderline personality disorder into account, using a combination of psychotherapy techniques, education, and both individual and group psychotherapy to support the patient's progress.

At first, treatment aims at helping the person endure feeling isolated, depressed or anxious without resorting to self-destructive behavior. To accomplish this, hospitalization sometimes is necessary. Outside the hospital, a person with borderline personality disorder may need additional support.

There have been relatively few controlled studies of psychotherapy for borderline personality disorder. Since the problems in this disorder vary widely, the researchers tend to study a few factors at a time. In some studies, DBT has reduced the frequency of self-harm and the intensity of suicidal thinking. It has also been shown to reduce the intensity of symptoms of depression or anxiety.

As with psychotherapy, there is no single medication that is clearly helpful in borderline personality disorder. Instead, medication is usually used to treat symptoms as they emerge, may be tried if the person's thinking is distorted.
People with borderline personality disorder are more likely than average to commit suicide. They should discuss self-destructive impulses with their health care professionals and make specific plans for what to do to get help when these thoughts or impulses arise.

Because personality styles tend to become more entrenched with age, it is best to seek treatment as soon as significant distress or poor functioning is noticed.


The course of this illness varies and depends on the severity of the symptoms; the amount of stress; the availability of support; the degree of functional impairment; the extent of self-destructive or suicidal behavior; and the presence of other psychiatric disorders, such as depression or substance abuse. It also depends on the person's ability to stay in treatment. Some people are quite resolute and courageous about their treatment and are able to bear deep disappointment, even though it may be very difficult. Others, however, find themselves in a cycle of seeking help, then feeling rejected and rejecting the help.

Also, because this disorder is difficult to treat, some people find themselves poorly matched with a clinician, and the treatment turns out to be ineffective. As in the person's life, it is difficult for him or her to distinguish between real and exaggerated disappointment in a treatment setting. Many researchers are now more optimistic about the long-term outcomes in borderline personality disorder. With persistence, many people with this disorder eventually can resolve painful problems and have fewer symptoms, which ultimately leads to more comfortable relationships and satisfying life achievements."

Mental Health Infro.

" Here are a few listings for places you can call or write fore more infro. if you feel you need it or know someone who does. They also have 1-800-Numbers I saw if you can't afford the phone call. Or do not know of a clinic in your or someone elses area, they could possibly help you find one. Bookmark this or mail it to yourself. As you never know someday you could need it for you or someone you care about, even if they live in a differant town you could get help...

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
120 Wall St.
22nd Floor
New York, NY 10005
Phone: 212-363-3500
Toll-Free: 1-888-333-2377
Fax: 212-363-6237
Email: inquiry@afsp.org
http://www.afsp.org/index-1.htm

American Psychiatric Association
1000 Wilson Blvd.
Suite 1825
Arlington, VA 22209-3901
Phone: 703-907-7300
Toll-Free: 1-888-357-7924
Email: apa@psych.org
Web site: http://www.psych.org/Public information site: http://www.healthyminds.org/

American Psychological Association
750 First St., NE
Washington, DC 20002-4242
Phone: 202-336-5510
Toll-Free: 1-800-374-2721
TTY: 202-336-6123
http://www.apa.org/

National Alliance for the Mentally Ill
Colonial Place Three
2107 Wilson Blvd.
Suite 300
Arlington, VA 22201-3042
Phone: 703-524-7600
Toll-Free: 1-800-950-6264
TTY: 703-516-7227
Fax: 703-524-9094
http://www.nami.org/

National Institute of Mental Health
Office of Communications
6001 Executive Blvd.
Room 8184, MSC 9663
Bethesda, MD 20892-9663
Phone: 301-443-4513
Toll-Free: 1-866-615-6464
TTY: 301-443-8431
Fax: 301-443-4279
Email: nimhinfo@nih.gov
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/ "